Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
