I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
