He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
