i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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