she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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