The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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