Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
