I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
