his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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