This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You made out with two different species that night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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