I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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