I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
