I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize