But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
