Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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