no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
