he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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