All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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