The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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