listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
