i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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