Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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