I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
