Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
