I want to stick my p in your. b.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
