Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
