About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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