If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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