shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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