at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
