your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
