I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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