You smell like a Billy Joel song
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
