its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
