So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
