I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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