You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
