Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
