Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
