Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
kristin has been a bad kristin
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
