I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
