let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
