Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
