There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
