What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
