Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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