did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
