32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
