If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
