Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
