I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
