so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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