I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
